Pope Mitch
by gawilliams
Summary: Booth and Bones watch the announcement of the new Pope and get a shock.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: After the various Father Mitch stories I have written, and the one I am working on continuing, I decided to take a quick peak at Booth reaction to the idea of Mitch becoming Pope. Here is what I came up with. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Booth was sitting in the living room of the house he had shared with Bones for the last fifteen years. His attention was glued to the television. For the last week the Conclave was being held in the Vatican to select a new Pope. What made this so special was that his good friend, and confessor of long standing, Mitchell Cardinal Stevens, or as Booth called him, Cardinal Mitch, was a participant in the process. He knew that there was no chance that Mitch would become the new Pope, but it was fun to speculate.

"It's going to be a bit before there is a result to announce," Bones told her husband with a wry grin. She'd been needling him all week about his attention being so absorbed by what was being played out in the Vatican. "You can leave your seat and come to dinner."

"After the next vote, Bones," he assured her. He had long ago gave up on the idea of converting Bones from her Atheism, so he shrugged off her needling. Besides, he loved her sense of humor, even if it sometimes made him wonder if God was trying to tell him something. Then he saw the smoke from the famous chimney and whooped in delight. It was white! "There it is, Bones! _Habemus Papam_! I wonder who it is? I hope it's someone like Pope Francis!"

Bones smothered a grin. She had debated with Booth the merits and demerits of a number of modern Popes, and to her own surprise she herself had liked Papa Francesco very much. She disagreed with him on a number of issues, and also the matter of the existence of God, of course, but his personal humility and desire to serve the poorest and neediest in society had resonated in her.

"It would be nice to have someone like Papa Francesco," she agreed with him, using the Italian form of the name and title, knowing it drove Booth a bit nuts because he didn't speak or understand Italian.

Booth frowned. "Bones," he told her. "Need I remind you of our agreement that you won't speak in a language I don't speak? Squint is bad enough, but at least I know that anymore. Italian, even if I know who you're referring to, is a no go. And before you say it so is Latin and Spanish."

"But you just said _Habemus Papam_ which is Latin for We Have a Pope," Bones pointed out, grinning at her own retort.

Booth grumbled, but decided that the best course of action was to let it drop as Bones still had a disturbingly high learning curve, which meant that after fifteen years of living together, raising a daughter together (and he mentally prayed for strength to get through the remaining years of Christine being a teenager), and still working cases together on occasion when he could get out from behind his Deputy Director's desk she was freakishly prescient when it came to needling him about almost anything.

"It's unfortunate that we won't be able to find out about the inner workings of the Conclave and the votes," Bones said, changing the subject. "From an historical standpoint it is very disconcerting."

"I think the Cardinals can be forgiven for not wanting to risk excommunication, Bones," he smirked. Inside though he was curious, too. He had his own list of who he considered good candidates, as did most Catholics, so it would be interesting to find out if his own _Papabili_ had had any traction in the Conclave or not.

"Well we should know who was elected in an hour or so," Bones stated and then brought over a plate of Mac-n-Cheese for him, and one for herself. She decided to needle him some more. "Perhaps Mitch will mention you to the new Pope. Maybe even make a case for not having to issue you so many Our Fathers and Hail Mary's."

Booth almost choked on his favorite food in the world when she said that. "No way!" he told her. "It's bad enough that I'm _**still**_ regularly called a pervert by Mitch, I don't need His Holiness to think I'm one, too!"

They both ate their dinner and quietly talked about what was happening in the world. The idea of a new Pope was fascinating for both of them, though for different reasons. For Booth is was an opportunity to see the Universal Church demonstrate its continuity, and vibrant presence in the world in a tangible way. For Bones it was a chance to see from an anthropological perspective how people react to significant societal and institutional change. As they both liked the late Pope Francis a great deal, they were decidedly curious as to whether or not the admirable humility and faith of that man would be continued in like manner in his successor. By the time they turned their attention to the television they noticed that the senior Cardinal-Deacon, or Cardinal Protodeacon, had stepped out onto the balcony overlooking St. Peter's Square.

"Here it comes, Bones!" Booth said excitedly. He listened as the traditional phrases were said and then his jaw fell when the name of the Cardinal who was elected Pope was announced.

"Annuntio vobis gaudium magnum: Habemus Papam! Eminentissimum ac reverendissimum Dominum, Dominum Mitchell Sanctæ Romanæ Ecclesiæ Cardinalem Stevens, Qui sibi nomen imposuit Ioannis vigesimi quarto."

("I announce to you a great joy: We have a Pope! The Most Eminent and Most Reverend Lord, Lord Mitchell, Cardinal of the Holy Roman Church, Stevens, Who takes to himself the name John XXIV.")

They both watched as Mitch, or Pope John XXIV, came out onto the balcony attired in the white papal cassock, without the choir dress or other trappings, as Francis had when elected. A smile was on his face, and he raised his arms to the crowd, who reacted with applause and cheers.

Bones smiled widely. She had a special fondness for Mitch, or Pope John as he now was styled, and considered this a wonderful testament as to the man's innate goodness and abilities. She also had some wonderful teasing comments to try out on Booth in the future which were sure to garner some very humorous reactions. She turned to face him and almost burst out laughing. Booth's expression was priceless! His jaw was hanging open, wine dribbling out of the corners of his mouth, his eyes bulging, and a deepening redness flushing his face as he watched the screen. She decided to try out one of her needling comments to see what happened.

"You know we are quite well off enough to be able to regularly go to the Vatican so you may have him remain your regular Confessor," she offered.

"Shut up, Bones," Booth ground out, trying to figure out what sort of reaction would be appropriate. Of course he was happy for his long standing friend. Mitch would make a great Pope. There was no doubt in his mind, but the idea of the Pope knowing all about the many years of impure thoughts about Bones, and all the many afternoons in confession, made him a little sick to his stomach. If Mitch had ramped up the number of Hail Mary's and Our Father's upon each elevation (Priest to Bishop, Bishop to Archbishop, Archbishop to Cardinal) he could only imagine with mounting horror what the count would be now that the man was the head of the entire Universal Church. Damn College of Cardinals! They just had to go and do it, making poor little Seeley Booth suffer for the rest of his natural life. He knew it would be a long reign as Mitch was the same age as Booth, so it seemed a safe bet that Mitch may rival Pope Pius IX for longest reign of any Pope. He could already see the millennia in Purgatory mounting exponentially.

They watched the standard Urbi et Orbi blessing, and then the new Pope gave a short little off the cuff set of remarks. Nothing indicative of what was to come, but Mitch made a real splash with the crowd. They watched as the Pope and Cardinals made their way back inside and the event was complete. Ten minutes later Booth's cell phone rang. Without looking to see who was calling he simply answered it, figuring that no doubt it was a case.

"Booth!" he said a bit more firmly than usual. His face paled and he held the cell phone out and gave it a jaundiced look. He gingerly placed it back to his ear. "Your Holiness," he managed to squeak. He listened and nodded a few times. "Yes, Your Holiness. We'll be there... I look forward to it. Thank you, Your Holiness."

Booth tapped the call end icon and stared at the phone in disbelief. "Get packed and make some plane reservations for Rome, Bones," Booth mumbled.

"Booth?" she asked, curious to know what had been said.

"His Holiness wants us to come to Rome and be his personal guests from now through his coronation Mass," Booth replied, calming only slightly, still on the verge of hyperventilating.

"That's very nice of him," Bones replied, amused at Booth's expression.

"No it's not, Bones," Booth glared. "His Holiness made very certain to remind me I was due for time in the confessional, and that he intended mine to be the first confession he hears as Pope. I'm going to be excommunicated for sure! And if that doesn't get me booted out of my Church, then you being there and spouting all that Atheist hooey of yours will finish the job! I'm doomed!"

In the Vatican a man dressed in the White Papal Cassock smiled as he closed his cell phone. Pope John XXIV, formerly Father Mitch, smiled as he ended the phone call. The various functionaries and Cardinals around him were looking at him somewhat askance, but he paid it no mind. He was going to be a Pope who worked hard for all, but at the same time would not forsake his closest friends in the process. That meant having a bit of fun at the expense of one Seeley Booth. He nodded to his entourage and made his way back to the Sistine Chapel, a wide smile on his face. He may desperately have prayed during the final balloting to be passed over in this grave responsibility, but it did have some spiritually humorous perks, though, and he fully intended on enjoying those. The only question he had now, was, what will Temperance do and say here in the sacred rooms and buildings of the Vatican? He could hardly wait to find out.

_A/N: I am considering doing a followup on this one and see Booth and Bones come to see Mitch and also have Booth confess. Any thoughts? I hope you all enjoyed this one. Gregg._


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you so very much for the wonderful response to the first chapter to this one. I have always loved writing the Father Mitch character, and this was a logical extension of him. I sincerely hope that the humor I bring into this now that I have Mitch as the new Pope doesn't in any way make people feel that I am somehow lessening, or demeaning, the office of Pope. I have the highest regard for the Papacy and the individuals who hold that high office. I hope you all enjoy this new chapter. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

"Sardinia, Bones?" Booth questioned for likely the hundredth time since they had gotten on a plane in Washington, DC. "Care to explain now that we are indeed here?" he asked.

The plane had just landed. They were both tired, but the first class seats had helped. One long flight from DC to Paris, and then a shorter, yet still taxing, flight from Paris to Cagliari, Sardinia. For the entire time she had refused to let him in on why they were going to Cagliari before Rome, and now she was doing so when they were actually in Cagliari! Something was not adding up.

"I told you when we get there I will explain," she told him patiently, enjoying his frustration. She knew he would be intrigued and pleased with what she was going to be doing. She simply wanted to have this as a total surprise.

Going through Customs was easy, especially as they were both frequent international travelers due to work, and their passports were all in order. It also helped that Booth was law enforcement in the US and a senior member of the law enforcement agency in question, having been made Deputy Director some six years before. When they got out of Customs and retrieved their luggage, they made their way to a taxi.

"Chiesa di Sant'Agostino, Largo Carlo Felice," Bones ordered in Italian, politely, supplying the address.

"Uh, Bones, what did you just say?" Booth asked.

"You'll find out," she told him, and settled back into the seat and relaxed for the ride.

The city of Cagliari was a wonderful blend of the ancient and modern, with the scenery offering a spectacular perspective on how far society had come. Not only technologically, but architecturally and in terms of basic infrastructure. Bones took it all in with that clinical sweep of her gaze as she always did for everything, and liked what she saw. Naturally she had looked up the city numerous times on the internet, but the internet only gave a limited, two dimensional point of view. Now, in person, she had a much broader view to enhance her senses. The sounds, the smells, and the three dimensional look of the city was overwhelming, but in an entirely positive way. _The perfect place for a vacation_, she told herself.

About 20 minutes later they entered the Largo Carlo Felice and the driver pulled up in front of an old building. Bones got out the amount asked for and handed it to the driver, then got out of the taxi with Booth, their luggage having been sent by service to the hotel that Bones had made reservations with. She had wanted them to come here straight away from the airport as she wanted to see this small church that she had become so interested in.

"Bones?" Booth asked. "What is this place?" He had an idea, but the thought of Bones wanting to take him to a Church was a bit difficult to fathom.

"La Chiesa di Sant'Agostino," she told him. Then she translated, not wanting him to debate her about the use of a foreign language when talking with him. "The Church of Saint Augustine."

"We're on our way to the Vatican to see the installation of a new Pope and you decide to take us on a side trip to Sardinia to visit a _**CHURH**_?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes," Bones told him, a smile on her perfect lips. It wasn't often these days that she could get Booth flustered about anything (besides _SEX_, that is), so this was a delightful moment for her. "I am going to be making a sizable monetary donation so the restoration can be completed after many years of neglect and the hard work of the parish priests of the moment to get the public, as well as the Diocese, to recognize the importance of this place."

"How the Hell did you even hear of this one small church?" Booth asked, not quite sure of what to make of this, especially the idea of Bones giving money to a church. He knew of her profound generosity when it came to charities, and he had always admired her for it, but he had never known her to donate to a religious organization.

"Mitch mentioned it once to me when we were discussing places that held important meaning to us," she replied, walking into the small courtyard, Booth following behind her. She smiled again. She looked and saw the beautiful ficus tree that provided shade and a wonderful location to sit and have invigorating discussions. The very discussions with a special priest of years past that had made such an impact on Mitch. "I looked into the specific Church and was fascinated with the history of it, and also the fact that St. Augustine himself was once living here on Sardinia. I began making small donations to the Church, and now I am able to offer the final sum needed to complete all of the restoration, as well as reclaiming all of the antiquities that belong here."

"_Benvenuti, carissimi!_" came a very welcoming voice from the small doorway leading into the Church proper.

"_Buongiorno_," Bones replied politely as she smiled at the relatively youthful priest. "_Sono la Dottoressa Temperance Brennan e lui __è__ Seeley Booth_."

"Ah! Dr. Brennan! It is a pleasure to meet you in person at last!" the priest said happily, now in fluent English. "May I compliment you on your Italian? I hardly noticed any accent."

"Uh, Bones...?" Booth questioned.

"This is Father Antonio, Booth," Bones told him, turning to him with a delighted smile. "He is the priest that I have been in contact with for the last few years regarding the state of the parish church, and what more is needed by way of repairs and money."

"You have been most generous, Dr. Brennan," Antonio said with genuine appreciation. Her efforts had moved the restoration forward a number of years. "What brings you to Sardinia unannounced? I would have been more than happy to help with arrangements."

"Actually we are on our way to Rome to attend the installation of Papa Giovanni," Bones told him. "Booth and I have personally known him for many years."

"Mitch was my roommate in college," Booth supplied.

"You certainly move in rarefied circles indeed," Antonio replied, a bit shocked at the friends that these two must certainly have.

"Papa Giovanni considers Booth a pervert," Bones supplied, deciding to let Booth know that she was not going to let his nerves settle. She loved making him worry about excommunication, even though such a risk was not even a remote possibility.

"_**Bones!**_" Booth exclaimed in a horrified tone, quickly looking about to make sure no one else could hear what had just been said.

Antonio laughed deeply, and with a twinkle in his eyes looked at Booth. "Would you care to spend time in confession before meeting with the Holy Father?" he asked, having a feeling that it would be a rather _interesting_ confession, if he was reading the situation correctly.

"Uh, I don't think that will be necessary," Booth replied, shuddering at the thought of one more priest considering him some sort of sexual pervert or deviant. Mitch was enough on that score. _**MORE**_ than enough.

"Papa Giovanni wants the first confession he hears as Papa to be Booth's," Bones smiled at Booth, her eyes also twinkling with deep amusement.

"Just what I need," Booth muttered under his breath not for the first time. "The _**Pope**_ calling me a pervert."

"You just get upset over the number of Our father's and Hail Mary's you have to do," Bones teased.

"It's not funny, Bones," Booth hissed. "I do them everyday and I am _**still**_ a couple thousand behind! I can only imagine what he will dish out now that he's the Pope!"

"Inferno?" Bones offered with a humorous grin. She loved teasing Booth about Dante's Divine Comedy and the man's unique, and rather horrific, version of a Hell. Booth would always shudder and go to confession before lighting a candle and praying that Dante had it all wrong.

"Don't even start, Bones!" Booth glowered. The last thing he needed was more horror stories about Hell and his ongoing debate with Bones about whether or not Dante had been stoned out of his gord when the 14th Century poet wrote that stuff. Booth was praying that the man had been stoned.

Antonio was silently amused. He really liked these two, and not only because one of them was Dr. Brennan who he had wanted to meet in person for the entire time she had been in contact with the parish. Their humor and banter was refreshing, and proved to him that God did indeed present a wonderful diversity in the world for all to enjoy and appreciate.

"No matter," Antonio continued. "Why don't we go inside and I will conduct a personal tour of our humble church? It will allow me to show you all we have done with your generous help, Dr. Brennan."

"That sounds most agreeable," Bones said with a smile. "And please, call me Temperance, or Tempe."

"If you will call me Nino," Antonio said with a smile.

For the next two hours Antonio showed them all through the church, pointing out all the artifacts, their histories, and also what was remaining to be done and also replaced. He even took them down to the crypt and showed them the wall paintings there and afterwards they all found themselves outside under the ficus tree enjoying the shade. A large wall mural was out there and they all enjoyed discussing it.

"It's a beautiful church, Nino," Booth said as he took a sip of the ice tea that Antonio had offered them.

"And it will be even more beautiful one day when we are able to complete the restoration," Antonio said enthusiastically. "My predecessor worked hard to get the parish and all of Cagliari to see what was right in front of them, but alas, it has been hard going. It's better than it was, and the current Mayor is a good person who appreciates what we are trying to accomplish, but it is not easy."

Bones got out an envelope and held it out to Nino. "Perhaps this will help," she said as he took it from her hands.

Nino opened the envelope and drew out the check inside and almost fainted. As it was, a very audible gasp escaped his lips. His hands shook, and he crossed himself, not quite sure what to say. "_Vergine Santissima!_" he said as he crossed himself again. He looked up at Brennan and saw her smiling warmly at him. "This is too much!" he said, his hands still shaking. This would be enough to finish _**all**_ the work and acquisitions, and then some!

"It's not nearly enough," she countered, the warm smile still on her lips. "I am an anthropologist, and as such history and legacy is very important to me. Granted I am a Forensic Anthropologist by specialization, but I am also a general anthropologist. I have been intrigued by this Church, it's namesake, and the need for restoration so that it may continue to honor a very important part of Sardinian history."

"Trust me, Nino, if she says it's not enough, then you'll never convince her otherwise," Booth sagely advised the likeable priest. He reminded him a lot of Mitch, and that brought a smile to his face as he thought of his friend who was now at the pinnacle of the Catholic Church.

"Nino, I have a question," Bones said from where she was sitting.

"Please," Antonio said making a come on gesture for her to continue.

"I was curious about your opinion on Dante's _La Divina Commedia_," Bones asked. "Was it an inspired vision, or was it, as Booth so fervently hopes and prays, a drug induced hallucination?"

Antonio raised a brow and cast a gaze at Booth. He was simply using the moment for a bit of teasing, as he could tell that this was common given the groan that came from Booth. He had a feeling that Papa Giovanni had a wonderful sense of humor to have remained such close friends with these two over the years. "Do you mean to say that Seeley has actually insulted Italy's _Sommo Poeta_?" he asked, giving an incredulous tone to his voice.

Booth looked at Bones as he didn't understand the reference, though he had an idea of what was said.

"Best, or Greatest, Poet, or a simple rendering would be Master. Like being a Nobel Laureate," she told him, an amused smile on her face. She enjoyed the slight squirm of Booth in his seat.

"Gee thanks, Bones," Booth told her. "Now I have to be worried about being lynched by the literary societies of Italy. _**AND**_, I now am friends with another Catholic Priest who will most certainly give me grief for all eternity like Mitch!"

Right then Booth's cell phone chimed and he sighed. He was sure he'd left strict instructions with his office, and the Squints, that he and Bones were not to be disturbed for any reason short of Christine being in danger, or the world about to end suddenly. Pulling out the offending device he tapped the screen blindly and barked "Booth!" The he paled.

"_Imagine my surprise when I discover that you are not in Rome, but in Cagliari_," the amused voice of Mitch, or Pope John, came out loud and clear.

"Your Holiness," Booth gulped. "What a surprise. Here's Bones."

With that Booth shoved the phone into her hands while Antonio looked at him incredulously, shocked that a phone call from the Pope had interrupted their enjoyable conversation. The POPE! Antonio almost crossed himself, the shock was that deep.

"_Ciao, Papa_," Bones said with a teasing glance at Booth. She loved how pale and flustered Booth looked, as if her talking with Mitch was going to hasten the excommunication that he always felt was right around the corner whenever she and Mitch had one of their scholarly debates.

On the other end of the line Mitch, now known by all Catholics as _Pope John_, _Papa Giovanni_, and any linguistic translation, chuckled, but also grimaced. "_Not you, too, Temperance_," he chided good naturedly. "_I can see Seeley calling me Holiness and all that, but YOU? Did you suddenly convert all of a sudden and become a believer in God_?"

"That event would be quite unlikely as you well know," Bones chuckled, knowing Mitch was simply joking with her, though she had addressed him as _Papa_ in order to let him know she respected the station he now occupied, and was happy for him. "Have you been adjusting well?"

Mitch sighed. "_It isn't easy, Temperance_," he admitted. "_All these people surrounding me, watching me, and ready to comment on everything I say or do. I now understand the frustrations that Pope Francis lived with, though to be fair he did make many changes to make his experience as painless as possible._"

"I can let you know something that will make you happy," Bones said with a smile. "Booth and I are sitting in the shade of a large ficus tree at La Chiesa di Sant'Agostino in Cagliari, Sardinia visiting with Father Antonio, the current priest."

"_That's wonderful!_" Mitch said, a delighted tone in his voice. "_I was wondering about your extra stop before getting to Rome_."

"I have donated the remaining funds necessary to complete all of the restoration work and also the reacquisition of the Church's possessions," she told him. "Actually, here is Father Antonio," she said as she handed Booth's cell phone to a totally shocked parish priest.

Shaking somewhat at the shock of this turn of events, Antonio took the phone and put it to his ear. "Ciao, Your Holiness," he said, mixing English and Italian.

Mitch spent a few minutes speaking with Father Antonio telling him of his own personal connection to that specific church and commending him on continuing the work of restoring it to its former glory. He also gave him a specific number to call if there was ever anything that he could do to help in any way.

"_I would also consider it a true personal favor if you assist Temperance and Seeley with anything they may need while staying in Cagliari_," Mitch told him in conclusion. "_They are indeed the best of what God has placed on the Earth, and I am deeply humbled by their friendship. I am quite confident, My Son, that they will be as good a set of friends to you as they have been to me. Now I must go. Do something for me, though. Tell Seeley that I am prepared to hear his confession and I already have his penance planned. That should have him worrying for the next few days. Ciao, Father Antonio. I offer my Apostolic Blessing upon you, your work, and your Church and Parish flock._"

Booth and Bones chuckled as Antonio handed Booth back his phone and settled into his chair, a but pale, and worn out from the experience had just had speaking one on one with His Holiness, Pope John XXIV. It was something he would remember for the rest of his life.

Bones stood along with Booth. "Father Antonio, we need to go to our lodgings, but we will come back and visit before we leave for Rome," she assured their new friend. "Thank you for the tour, and also for you generous hospitality."

"You have a great church here, Father," Booth complimented as well.

"Thank you," Antonio said sincerely. Then he got a mischievous smile. "Papa Giovanni asked me to pass along a message for you, Seeley. He said that he is prepared to hear your confession and that he already has our penance planned out."

Booth paled and shuddered again. "This is all your fault, Bones," he told Bones. "Just make sure your don't do anything that gets me excommunicated!"

"How is this my fault?" Bones asked in an innocent tone, though she smirked at Antonio, pulling him further into their inner circle of close friends by including him in the banter.

"You are so overwhelmingly hot that I can't control all the impure thoughts," Booth grumbled. The he shot a pleading look at Antonio. "You didn't hear that!"

"My lips are sealed," Antonio said to the amusing couple. He stood and walked them to the entryway to the courtyard. As the drove away in a taxi, he went inside the Church and offered a silent prayer for the health and safety of his new friends. He wished he could go to Rome and see this couple in amongst the Curia, but he was sure that Temperance would let him know with frequent e-mails.

_A/N: There really is a church in Cagliari called La Chiesa di Sant'Agostino and it is in the process of finding the needed funds for repairs, restoration, and getting back relics and objects that belonged to it at one time. As a tribute to that fine Church, I added this chapter to the Pope Mitch storyline. I hope you enjoyed it. Gregg._


End file.
